new bedroom </3

Last lockdown felt like a necessary space for death n transformation but this time I feel suspended along multiple timelines that instead of staying linear travel in slow circles. Each loop I see versions of myself in various stages of change. Occasionally I catch glimpses of a place outside of this one but it travels on a different orbit to mine.

lately i’ve been thinking about the rigidity of social constructs and how shepherded we are by human behaviour. eg the way I dress and how much thought i put into it, not just in terms of style but in the way it conveys my values n perception of myself. clothing is an implicit language and carries so much meaning due to thousands of years of social exhibitionism, these meanings falter and redefine themselves daily and i cling to them.

living in this moment it feels like the absurdities of capitalism are about to fold in on themselves; a crumbling of ideals that will leave us blinded and baby-like and defenceless to the threat of our own species. i wonder at the thought of these constructs stripping slowly away from our bodies and what will be left behind. i wonder how freeing it would be to live in an infantile society; one in which languages were tied to the self and not ingrained into the fabric our clothes, our homes, our bodies.

pic 6pice 4pic 3

we drove up into fire country to see the damage but instead became lost in a giant cloud, the gums moved like pale ghosts.

post berghainpat building

Post-Berghain night walks home as the sky blurs into day.

Lately I can feel my brain lulling back into a comatose as I grapple with uni and new work loads. I hate it lol. But also feeling like baby lil again one million ideas whirring in my head until I can’t hear anything outside of myself.

Realising i’m the only one in control of my own optimism, learning to discard the negativity of others and in myself as i begin working on new projects.