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(Any1 know why half my film comes out with these borders?)

mixed feelings abt coming home in 2 weeks. Excited to see everyone but not excited to lose myself again in the monotony.

Hoping I can hold on to seeing myself clearly this time.

Sometimes my brain gets stuck on a thought and when I’m bored I argue with myself about it for hours. It’s so tiring lol.

Lately I’ve been questioning the arguments evoked in some circles that pursuing goals of environmentalism implies a disregard with issues of social justice //implies a privilege of sorts that many are denied.

These views stand on solid ground. The environmental movement in Australia (distinct from the animal-rights movement btw) has been deeply patriarchal and imperialist so far in a way that makes my tummy turn when reading about its key figures. Nowadays it is a movement pursued by wealthy white ppl with dispensable time and income enough to make consumer choices that most cannot afford. Being environmentally friendly is synonymous with wealth in this country. As a movement it also pays little regard to the impact of colonialism on Australia’s natural wilderness and the ongoing dispossession of land in a way that’s unforgivable.

This is one side of my internal Q & A table. Sitting opposite myself I question whether these arguments are antiquating as rapidly as the spread of climate change begins to irrevocably alter our world. The biggest environmental threats our planet faces today are largely created and propagated by the Western lifestyle we all currently abide by, after all. Those that are already paying the consequences are developing nations whose suffering remains largely out of sight (for now). But that suffering is undeniable and daily it worsens. (An easy example of this paradigm is the proliferation of plastic products from Western nations to a global level, and the corresponding degradation + poisoning of waterways surrounding nations w/ inadequate waste disposal facilities, such as the crisis Indonesia is facing rn).

So far I haven’t been able to reconcile these sides. But I’m filled w/ a hope that our gen can redefine this movement, recognising that the neo-lib n capitalist structures that currently shape our world are hopelessly violent. Anyway hoping  that by writing this down I can stop internally arguing about it :—–)

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Lately I’ve been wrestling with an exhaustion that had settled all over me. I can feel its roots stretch and tear as I pull against it.

Thinking about how home can sometimes feel like a space made infinite by mirrors // an enclosed room that echoes my thoughts back to me in a cycle that never ceases. Trying to stay quiet for a while. Slowly emptying myself of the thoughts that don’t belong to me.

Anyway I feel like all this Grecian sun and water is healing me lol. Feeling like myself again!

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Takashi Kuribayashi / Entrances

Stood inside these trees shaped by mirrors and saw a sky shot from deep below water.