I drove down to Callala Beach, the place Mum took us to as babies and the place that I think of, when I think of her as maybe still here somewhere.
For a while I’ve been feeling sadness drifting back over me and I thought maybe it would help to go somewhere beautiful and confront it.
id forgotten how beautiful it was… pat and I took acid and the water swelled and rushed at the earth I could feel it through my whole body. I remembered how we would lie together at night and listen to the waves and she told us that it was the sound of the waves she always missed when it was time to leave.
time goes on and I don’t feel the sadness going anywhere. It just sits quietly inside me and sometimes I don’t feel it, some days I worry when I speak my throat will choke for no reason. Learning to make peace with it though.
That Nowhere Feeling 